From Boy to Man: Why Risk is the Path to Masculine Maturity - Part 3 -The Risk-Averse Soul

Why Safety Is the Enemy of Manhood

Imagine a man who never wrecks his truck, never strikes out at the plate, never splits a board on the jointer, never drops his bike in gravel, and never gets turned down by a woman.

That’s a man with a pretty smooth life, right?

No. That’s not a man. That’s a museum piece. Safe, unused, and ultimately irrelevant.

Somewhere along the line, we were sold the idea that maturity is about risk mitigation, about insulating ourselves from failure, embarrassment, and pain. Modern culture told boys: play it safe, be nice, avoid discomfort, and you'll be fine. But biblical manhood is not about being fine; it's about being faithful. And faithfulness always walks hand-in-hand with danger. A man who refuses to risk has already failed; he has failed at living just to revel in the status of simply being alive.

When Safety Becomes a Religion

We live in a world that increasingly worships safety. Safety in communications, safety in thought, safety in every facet of life so that the possibility of failure, of pain, of the wake-up call that you are mortal, flawed, and that there’s a greater reality at play than happy hour, and Tiktok. Entire industries thrive on selling you fear-avoidance: insurance, cancel-proof communication, risk-free dating apps, self-driving cars, even climate-controlled woodshops that keep your flannel dry and your fingers unblistered. Convenience has become a virtue.

For the record, the church isn't immune. We’ve baptized cowardice in the name of “prudence.” We confuse wisdom with passivity and sanctify indecision as patience. But look to the heroes of Scripture—was Abraham prudent when he left everything behind with no destination? Was David playing it safe when he ran toward Goliath? Was Christ hedging his bet in his sacrifice? Real, firsthand issues that are wrecking the lives of men, women, children, and every slice of life in between are going on all around us, but the church naval gazes and tries to be as sensitive as possible so they can hold onto their tax-exempt status.

You can’t make a man in a padded room. Maturity isn't microwaveable. And God doesn’t mold oak-hearted men out of bubble wrap.

The Myth of the Painless Path

Jung’s puer aeternus lives by the lie that if he waits long enough, the path will become obvious and painless. That’s why so many modern men delay marriage, fatherhood, mission, or leadership. They hope that someday the risk will vanish and they’ll feel ready.

But you’re never ready for real responsibility. You become ready by accepting it.

The mature man walks into uncertainty not because he knows he’ll succeed, but because he’s called. This is your vocation; your God-ordained station and posting in this spiritual war. Your job is obedience, not outcome. The goal isn’t to guarantee a win. It’s to leave everything on the field.

You Lose When You Play It Safe

The boy who insists on safety over risk forfeits three things every time:

1. Growth: Muscles don’t grow without resistance. Wood doesn’t become a masterpiece without sharp tools and abrasive sand paper. You don’t develop courage until it’s tested. If you refuse to risk failure, you will never build spiritual muscle.

2. Credibility:  No one follows a man who never bleeds. Trust is earned in adversity. Men want to follow a leader who’s been through hell and came back swinging. Safe men inspire no one.

3. Glory:  Not the worldly kind, but the kind God gives. The glory that follows faithful suffering. Think of Job, Paul, Stephen. Risk is where God shows off His strength through your obedience.

Playing it safe in the name of comfort robs God of the glory He gets through your courage. And make no mistake—it is His courage in you, not yours.

Practical Risks Every Man Must Take

Want to kill the puer? Start with these:

• Ask her out: Do it in person with your real voice. Look her in the eyes. Get turned down like a man if you must.

• Tell the truth: Always… in your job, in your church, to your brother. Be the man who says the hard thing.

• Pray in front of people: Stand your growd even if your voice shakes.

• Quit porn: Risk what it feels like to face your emptiness sober.

• Build something: Start a business, take a demotion to lead your home better, move for a calling, stay put for a calling… just act in obedience.

Every one of these choices involves uncertainty. And every one of them is more sanctifying than another night watching Netflix and fantasizing about a life you’ll never live.

Safety Didn’t Build the Church

The early church wasn’t built by men who wanted predictable outcomes. The apostles bled, sweated, were stoned, mocked, crucified, and abandoned. Their resumes wouldn’t make a modern HR department’s desk.

They risked everything, because they feared God more than they feared failure.

As Paul said in Acts 20:24, “I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course.”

He didn’t say, “if only I finish successfully.” He said, “if only I finish.”

That’s the heartbeat of the masculine soul under God: not control, but covenant. Not safety, but sacrifice.

How the Gospel Frees Men to Risk

Here’s the good news: in Christ, you’re already secure. You can take kingdom risks because you have kingdom security. You can fail publicly because your identity is hidden in Christ (Col. 3:3). You can endure the sting of rejection, the weight of leadership, and the wounds of loss all because your life is not your own.

The man of God is immortal until his work is done. So take the shot.

Build the Boat Before It Rains

Noah looked like a lunatic until the first raindrop fell and the vaults of the deep started to bubble to the surface. But obedience made him the only man afloat. So go build. Go lead. Go risk. You don’t need a ten-year plan. You need faith the size of a mustard seed and the guts to act. The padded room may keep you safe, but it will never make you strong.